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On Tuesday, some of us went to Pretoria to see Japan v Paraguay. From what we had seen at other games, we were confident we could pick up tickets cheap - but this time the touts held their nerve until the last minute. We eventually got in for about £18, though we missed about the first 25 minutes of the game. The lasting impression of the game was ‘how can England be going home when one of these is going through?’

The answer, of course, is simply that our over-paid superstars did not perform.

The game was boring but we made our own entertainment. The locals were delighted by the four of us singing ‘God Save The Queen’ and an assortment of ‘Engerland’ songs.

I will never accept that penalties are a fair way to settle a game of this importance; that said, the rules say ‘penalties’ so ‘penalties’ it is. These lads had obviously been practising (5-4). I wonder if the English players ever do?